Friday, November 10, 2000
Part17: Jamus saw but could not believe. What that hovcar was doing, weaving between flame and debris, was not possible… not at those speeds. It was over. He had been cheated. He looked down at the earth, its deep blue, its swirling white. He breathed, he was calm. He killed the pilot first, then however was standing next to him. The shuttle spiralled in the fireball it had just created. He felt the termination order arrive, his brain felt like it was being split in two. Another death and then another, in his final three seconds Jamus was an angel of death. Debris began impacting on his final second. He never knew who delivered the final blow, fire, friend or foe.posted by Grant C on 2:04 PM
Visitors. So I've had eleven visitors to my humble site, no one came here directly it seems, and almost all were looking for something else. Lots of hits from Goggle via Yahoo, which is odd. I suspect its got something to do with the name and how I spell it. People were even came here looking for Michael Tunn, which is just a bit too shocking. A couple of D&D related hits (they must have been sorely disappointed) and someone after Russian Gymnasts (but hey, aren't we all).
posted by Grant C on 1:50 PM
This has been the longest short week I have come across. Just three days, it feels like three weeks.
posted by Grant C on 12:17 PM
This week I had the courage to write an apology to Trent and post to Will. The crap thing is that both seem to have amounted to nothing. Not that I should have expected anything and perhaps I'm being too impatient again.
posted by Grant C on 9:22 AM
Thursday, November 09, 2000
Part16: Ebona had her hand in the bag. Her eyes were closed, but her mouth seemed to be making words. Was it some sort of communication device? Abe wondered. It was then that he saw the ball of fire erupt behind him. The attack shuttle had found them. He felt Ebona touch his shoulder lightly. There was almost an electricity from her fingers, his sinuses cleared. The tangled morass of Sampuri onramp was reconfigured. He could see the path he needed to take, he was calm. He accelerated to 900 km/ph.posted by Grant C on 2:56 PM
Covert pt4. Now in phase 2. Now we wait.
posted by Grant C on 12:45 PM
Covert pt3. Success. Shaking. We have the address. Now we move to phase 2.
posted by Grant C on 12:06 PM
Covert pt2. All I need is the email address... Now you would think that would be easy, but no. This secret mission is tricky, and involves me breaking quite a few work rules. Oh well, who ever said covert was easy.
posted by Grant C on 11:47 AM
Covert. Yes, its ridiculous hair brain scheme time. You know the kind - An improbable premise, a nonsensical methodology, and lots of danger. Like Bond on acid.
posted by Grant C on 10:37 AM
News of the morning. I didn't get a reply to my apology. I haven't read a comic in two days. I didn't go to kung fu last night. The US election is still in the air. My ridiculous teenage crush of oft mentioned UK weblogger seems to be subsiding only to be replaced with obsession for a certain american porn star. I feel like someone has kicked me in the head, all dizzy and disoriented.
posted by Grant C on 8:52 AM
Wednesday, November 08, 2000
So my jaw is beginning to sieze up, my legs are starting to hurt (10 hr of dancing will do that to you) It feels like someone has drained a lot of fluid from my head and I'm getting a sore throat... me promise - better posts tomorrow...posted by Grant C on 4:18 PM
I'm also grinding my teeth at the moment.
posted by Grant C on 3:23 PM
I'm really not holding together it all at the moment. I really wish I had someone I could talk to, and someone to go home to. I need a big hug, but I ain't gonna get one.
posted by Grant C on 3:12 PM
I didn't mentioned the thing that's really fucking with my mind at the moment. And to be honest I don't think I can. It comes down to something I saw, only for a second. It might not have been what I thought it was, but it would explain a lot of things if it was what it was. Let's just say it was like the time that I found my brothers porn collection, expected and unexpected all at the same time...
posted by Grant C on 3:00 PM
I'm not dealing with today particularily well. I'm fucking tired and depressed, and seem to be buying into the self-hate grab bag way too much. The worst thing about the self-hate grab bag is while they are often exaggerations, the're usually true. Lonely as well.
posted by Grant C on 2:38 PM
Honestly, I'm scared about what I have to do next. Everything changes, I walk through a door I can't walk back through. I admit to everyone the truth about myself, so that I might be happy. I don't know if it will make me happy, but I really can't go on like this. I'm really scared though.
posted by Grant C on 12:29 PM
I've just written a long overdue apology. I'll let you know how it goes.
posted by Grant C on 11:39 AM
I am a pretty isolated individual. I don't have many friends and am awkward around people I don't know. I've never been in a relationship that lasted two weeks (and there have only been 3 in 26 years) and I've never been in love. I deluded myself alot and can be really selfish. This is what ecstasy comedown feels like. All the bad facts about your like come to the fore, the harsher the actual facts the worse the comedown.
posted by Grant C on 11:35 AM
On a side point, ecatasy turns me into a ego pig. It makes me incredibly selfish and self-centred. This is not a good thing. I wonder if it really is just me being myself, the asrehole underneath it all. Am I an arsehole underneath it all?
posted by Grant C on 9:16 AM
It feels like Monday but its actually Wednesday. I'm still tired, and I'm goning to be pretty sore today. Yesterday - that being the amalgam of Monday and Tuesday, was the cup day holiday. Went to see Ken Ishi play at seven. It was surprisingly good. Hard, funky techno. Then somehow managed to get to FREAKAZOID for recovery. However by this stage, from a initial group of about 15 it was down to just me and Jules. I don't think Jules was ready for Freakazoid though, a bit too sleazy, a bit too gay, people don't like (or are intimidated by) the crowd and forget about the music. I forget that I only got into house after a couple of years listening to hard techno. I could have stayed at Freakzoid all day (and I gave it my best shot) but Jules wasn't really digging it so I knew my number was up. An important fact - sunglasses are absolutely necessary for recovery. Even when in the club. So, we leave. I get home, I can't sleep. There's more but that's another story entirely.
posted by Grant C on 8:30 AM
Monday, November 06, 2000
Part15: The attack shuttle was in orbit now. Time was thin. If they got to Sampuri, it was over. There could be massive civ casualties on the on ramp, but to many corporarchic interests were on the line in Sampuri, it was now or never. The words left his mouth like a prophecy of doom. "fire".posted by Grant C on 12:44 PM
What do you do? If you discuss something, you sort of expect the other person to listen to and respond to what your talking about. Its how it works I thought. Not so with parents, they just nod and repeat the last sentence they uttered. If pressed for an actual response, the response will be "I don't want to talk about it". I pressed with the question "do you understand anything I just said?" and got "I don't want to talk about it". Isn't that also a "no, I didn't understand anything you just said, mainly because I wasn't actually listening". No respect. What do you do?
posted by Grant C on 12:40 PM
So, I've yet to get that proper night sleep I was winging about last week and it already monday. But tonight is a chemical binge evening so there will be no sleep tonight. Funny cyclical patterns, so much of this stuff happened last year as well. Lets hope we don't have a whole vial of ketamine this year. I can only stand so much on the hallucinogenic front these days. If the pattern does repeat (and lets hope this one doesn't) I should have a tale a soul-destroying woe on Wednesday or Thursday, with all the usual suspects (y'know the prophecised end of reality, convergence on the equidistant point) that will resemble a madmans rant about the final days. I can't begin to tell you how many ironic and syncronisitious events have been occuring. Things that are connected to other things, wide circles rotating. The detail is staggering.
posted by Grant C on 10:10 AM
Next week. Much news. Firstly - Planetary #12, much fun, a cool as fuck comic. Then, same day, ran into Guy at @mosphere. Yes that right, my mysteriuos drug buddy from a previous lifetime. I was only at the club to drop off flyers and get a smoke for bed. I was saying hello to Tim when he sort of pulled me aside and "guess who's here?"... I was pretty shocked... He looked pretty terrible, and the story he told me no less convoluted than last time I heard it. New details include: A high speed car chase with the cop that included a 180 round a bus.This apparently ended with a beating from the cops. He had also been charged again for driving without a licence, and was still driving around, in a hire car, that was overdue, but this is nothing unusual for Guy. He also informed me that he been awake for 2 weeks again, and had Getafixes in the car. Me, Guy and a car full of acid that was a recipe for mayhem and disaster. He gave me a lift home. This was a lot of things I said I would never do again - Get in a car with Guy again, Get in a car with Guy again when he hasn't slept for two weeks, Get in a car with Guy again when he hasn't slept for two weeks and is driving without a licence with a car full of drugs and money. Most importantly I said I was never going to have acid with Guy again. It was all too scary, our conversation quickly fell back into that ironic word puzzle that we always play, everything took a hour and a half (like put the key into the engine) and he had no idea where he was going, and he was traveling at high speeds. It should have only taken five minutes to get from the club to my house, it took us an hour. When finally we got to my house I was glad to get out of the car. I didn't know what to say in the end, he was my best friend for over 5 years and all I could think about was getting upstair and knocking back bongs. I don't know what to make of what, not you standard friday night. Saw Snatch as well, which was a good film.
posted by Grant C on 8:46 AM
